A conversation with the real life "Dude" from Big Lebowski: Comparing 60's activism with the activism of today

caption: The Dude w/ his real life counterpart, Jeff Dowd

Everybody knows "the Dude" from the 1998 cult classic The Big Lebowski. But what you may not know is that Jeff Bridges' now-classic character is based off a real life person, Jeff "the dude" Dowd.

As a young man, Dowd was a major player in the 1960’s antiwar movement, was an outspoken draft resistor and spent time in jail as a political prisoner.

Like his film character, Jeff currently lives in L.A. He is a talented filmmaker and one of the founders of the Sundance Institute. His autobiography, "The Dude Abides: Classic Tales and Rebel Rants from The Dude" is slated to be released this year. Check out his website: www.jeffdowd.com.

I recently sat down with the Dude to discuss his experiences with youth organizing in the 60’s and how it compares to today.

Give it a Listen.



Download the mp3.

Youth turnout breaks records, gets congress addicted.

Originally published on Music for America, 11/8/06.

The elections are over, and boy are the results ever in...

Yesterday, we let the rest of the country know that we're here by destroying previous young voter turnout records, breaking the 1982 turnout record by 2 percentage points. (About 2 million votes) Although all the numbers aren't yet in, young voters voted 2-1 for change and likely had a huge impact in electing a democratic congress.

You made it happen, whether you voted, or registered people to vote, or volunteered at an MFA show, or threw an election day party, or went naked sky diving with a "go vote banner," love handles rippling in the g-forces...

Yesterday we took control of our lives and the direction of this country.

Let me dork out for a second (like I'm not already). Groups of people with something in common who tend to vote a similar way are called voting blocs. There are lots of'em... thats what people are talking about when they mention "the gay vote" or "the black vote" or "the guy that lives in a van down by the river vote."

If you belong to a voting bloc, and your bloc becomes a difference maker on election day, representatives will start legislating on issues that are important to you in order to get your vote again. Essentially, they become addicted to your vote. They'll do anything to get it.

What does that mean? If you're a kid who's drowning in college loans, congress will work to make paying your bills a little easier, because they need your vote to stay in power.

If you're a young woman or minority who's fed up with unequal treatment, congress will work to even the scales because they're addicted to your vote.

If you're having trouble finding a decent job, congress sure as hell better start working create more jobs, because hell, this good shit we got? It ain't free.

MFA was founded on the idea that if the 65 million 18 - 29 year olds in America (yes, there are 65 million of us) could get organized and involved, we could basically shape this country in any way we damn well please.

In a presidential election, 65 million votes is a majority.

It's not over yet. The young voter bloc is here, now we need to start flexing our muscles. I hope you'll stick around and flex with us, pump some iron and shape vibrant communities full of music and opportunities. Your participation makes MFA what it is. Not mine. Yours.

But for now, go home and take a day off. Forget about politics, watch a movie, hook up with a hot person, listen to some tunes, drink a beer or a soda or a sunnyD or whatever. Go to bed knowing that we all worked together like a team to make this happen, and we're all going to be better off because of it.

This is our greatest accomplishment to date, and it's just the beginning. We really did it.

(Oh yeah, and in 2008, the White House is OUR house.)

Remembering Hunter S. Thompson: Hero, Lecher, Manic-Psychotic Doctor of Journalism

Originally Published on Music for America, 3/5/05.

On Sunday evening, February 20th, 2005, thousands of bullets were fired across the globe- in Baghdad and Kabul, hurtling towards the fleeing Taliban, driving concrete splinters from the decaying barriers protecting Sunni guardsman, in the forests of England and the African Serengeti, penetrating the coveted pelts of terrified woodland animals and severing ivory husks, in the urban ghettos of America, waking elderly from their sleep and distracting the red-eyed and blue-collared from their television sets…

but of all these stray slugs, zipping both overtly and discreetly between the spaces of our lives, the bullet that did the most damage this depressing Domingo was slung in Woody Creeks, Colorado, through the troubled yet active mind of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.

Thompson took his own life in the comfortably sturdy confines of the fortified compound he called home. He shot himself through the head, probably with a revolver of which he was very fond. (considering the Doctor was fond of many a firearm) Another historic life wrapped up neatly- live by the sword, die by the sword, they say. Live by the gun…

And that’s it. One trigger pulled, and a mind meticulously catalogued in plain sight of the world throughout the last forty years suddenly vanishes. Don’t wait up, Bubba, I’ll be running late tonight. Very late.

It had been reported that Thompson had spent the last year of his life in and out of wheelchairs, having recently broken his leg. I would not dare trivialize the physical and mental horrors he must have been experiencing. But Doctor, for the sake of the morale of the free speech movement, which, like Mike Tyson, is battered and reeling against the metaphoric ropes of the unabashed capitalistic practices of today, couldn’t you have hung on a bit longer?

I can’t help but be continually reminded that, while the Doctor was certainly fond of firearms, he lived his life by the word, not the gun. More than ten books published in the last forty years: Hell’s Angels; Kindom of Fear; The Great Shark Hut; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; Fear and Loathing in America; Songs From the Doomed; Better Than Sex and The Rum Diaries, just to name a few. Not to mention a vault of uncollected freelance works.

King of Gonzo, if only you could read your post-mortem praise. Writers across the globe are sounding their trumpets for you; The New York Times; Salon.com; The Washington Post; The San Francisco Chronicle; Tom Wolfe; Ralph Steadman. If only you could feel the utter revelry we feel when reading your works, the emotional solidarity the pissed off liberals of America share with you. If only, if only, if only…

“We are At War now, according to President Bush, and I take him at his word. He also says this War might last for ‘a very long time.’ Generals and military scholars will tell you that eight or 10 years is actually not such a long time in the span of human history -- which is no doubt true -- but history also tells us that 10 years of martial law and a war-time economy are going to feel like a Lifetime to people who are in their twenties today. The poor bastards of what will forever be known as Generation Z are doomed to be the first generation of Americans who will grow up with a lower standard of living than their parents enjoyed"

-Hunter Thompson, September 17th 2001

Men like Thompson come from the generation that ushered in Civil Rights and Stadium Rock. Riding the backs of the Beatniks of the fifties, they solidified the existence of an American counter-culture. And if it weren’t for counter-culture, every friend you have would be a visor-wearing, football-loving, war-mongering douche bag.

Yesterday’s heroes are feeling old these days, folks. They’ve fought the good war; any good man deserves retirement at age sixty-five. Our heroes were given a mess and they created a movement, a movement which unfortunately later degraded back into a mess. But if mama taught me anything, it was that a clean room takes constant vigilance. Let your guard down for a week and you’re wading in dirty undies.

If the only three things a generation of foul-mouthed, horny, liberal rock-and-rollers were able to accomplish are Civil Rights, stadium rock, and counter-culture, (and the true list of accomplishments is longer) well that ain’t bad. In an age where government policy is silencing the creative and critical voices through policy, it is a very sad day when our idols cut out the middleman and become their own, final censor.

Fellow members of the doomed Generation Z, our response to this tragedy should be to grab that First Amendment torch Hunter held aloft so high and run with it. Because now, there’s one less creative genius in the world to look after our ungrateful asses.

“On my way out, I paused long enough to give him a quick beating on both sides of his ugly, truthless head…"

-HST

Youth Vote gets props, street cred after bagging first election.

Originally published on Future Majority, 12/24/06.

---

The day after the '06 elections, I told y'all that we would reap the benefits of our hard work- that if young voters became difference-makers in this election, politicians would start legislating on our issues- raising minimum wage, helping kids pay for college-

Well, we turned out, and now we're starting to enter into the next phase of our narrative. The media is starting to sing our praise.

In November and December alone, there have been hundreds of articles about young voters and our impact in 2006, most notably:

• Mtv
  
• Salon.com
  
• Washington Post
  
• Reuters
  
• Daily Kos
  
• MyDD
  
• USAToday
  

...and many, many more. Organizations such as Circle and Young Voter Strategies are backing up these stories with the hard numbers and legitimizing youth outreach in the eyes of political strategists.

By 2008, politicians will be woo-ing us in hopes of getting our votes in the next election. The the 18-29 "Millennial" generation is beginning its ascent to power, and about 20 years earlier than expected.

Take a look at this graph from William Strauss' power point presentation on the Millennial generation.



When Strauss talks about power, he's talking about Political Power. You can see that every generation has a lifespan of about 20 years in power, and that the Millennials ascent into power isn't supposed to begin until the 2030s, all things being equal.

But all things aren't equal. Generation X, our immediate predecessors, made their name by being apolitical, apathetic and disengaged. Gen X is also the smallest living generation.

What does that mean? When a generation is very small, and of that small number of people, many refuse to participate, there becomes a power vacuum.

The Millennial Generation, you and me and all our peers, are filling that vacuum. Whether or not this is a chicken/egg scenario is irrelevant. We are early bloomers in political power, and because of this, we will reap the benefits of our hard work well into the future.

What we accomplish now is barely even the beginning. Between our huge numbers, our strong community ties and our positive outlook, our generation has within itself the potential to completely reshape the country within our lifetimes.

All we need is the vision.

Progressive Top 50 at last- Get back in touch. Meet the Youth Movement.

Originally Published on Music for America, 8/2/06.

I was waiting for someone to come along, some young singer eighteen-to-twenty-two years old, to write these songs and stand up… I waited a long time. Then I decided that maybe the generation that has to do this is still the '60s generation."
–Neil Young on why he released "Living with War"

It was bound to happen- despite a non-stop 30 year career, countless albums with over 50 appearances on various charts and billboards, and even two inductions into the rock and roll hall of fame, Neil Young is finally out of touch with what’s happening in the music biz.

Though "Living with War" may have been a potent protest album, the truth is that Neil's most recent release comes way too late, and the reasoning behind it is way off the mark. It’s time for older progressives everywhere to wake up and realize the truth. The Youth Movement is here. We’ve been here. And we don’t listen to our parents' protest music.

Many people like to wax poetic about the cultural movement that surrounded the music of the 60s, but the truth is that today’s young musicians are speaking out just as loudly and powerfully as the musicians of 30 years ago, despite attempts by big media to silence their voices. Musicians today understand that it takes more than singing a song to create real change. "Let's impeach the President" is a catchy chorus, but it's no stained blue dress, if you get my drift.

When I first started interning with Music for America (MFA) in 2005, the non-profit had already been working with musicians to engage young people in progressive politics every night at concerts across the country for almost 2 years. In the lead-up to the '04 elections, bands big and small- like Sonic Youth, Green Day and the Beastie Boys- partnered with MFA to register young concert-goers and bring an intelligent, progressive vision of America to young people across the nation. We were doing it when it really mattered- during the presidential elections. (2 years before Neil released "Living with War") And most importantly, we were effectively creating change.

In 2004, young people age 18-30 turned out to vote at the highest percentage since 1972, and they were the only age group to vote for Kerry. 2005 proved that this youth movement was no fluke, when young voters in Virginia once again turned out in record numbers and became the difference-makers in electing a democratic governor to a once solidly red state

Despite achieving some success, older progressives like Senator Hillary Clinton (born only two years apart from Neil) love to rag on young people, saying that we "think work is a 4-letter word."

Don't get me wrong. I love the boomers. Civil rights was an amazing achievement. But my generation is achieving as well, and maybe its time for everyone to stop and take notice.

Young people today feel like their future is being mismanaged. We want to make a difference, we’re willing to work for it, and with numbers rivaling the Baby Boomers (60 – 70 million), we have huge potential.

Like any cultural movement, our music reflects our values. Last month, when the National Review published an article called "Rockin’ the Right," a list the top 50 conservative rock songs of all time (including great protest tunes such as "Revolution" by the Beatles and "Won’t get fooled again" by the Who), we over here at MFA had our own idea. We'd create our own list of the Top 50 progressive songs. They'd be songs by our generation, songs from the last 10 years. Some of them would be protest songs, but others would just be great tunes by artists working to create change. Because a band doesn't have to shove their politics down someone's throat to be political. All they have to do is make a difference. Below is a list of our Progressive Top 50 and the reasons why they’re in there. You can download a podcast of our playlist here. The songs are in no particular order... we opted to go for a good-sounding playlist rather than bicker over who is more progressive, more revolutionary, more whatever.

We asked our members, over 70,000 young music fans with a healthy interest in contemporary politics, to help us out. Here’s what we came up with- our gift to all the Neil Youngs and Hillary Clintons of the world. Get back in touch.

Meet the Youth Movement. Listen to MFA's Progressive Top 50 Podcasts!

Helpful Advice for Helpless Conspiracy Theorists

Originally Published on Music for America, 6/26/05.

A response to this article by Mike Connery on knee-jerk progressivism. Please please please please please read on if you believe or have ever previously believed:

• the Apollo 11 moon landing was faked,


• the CIA killed JFK, MLK, or Bob Marley,


• Midwestern farmers are being probed on a weekly basis,


• Elvis, Jim Morrison and Bruce Lee are still alive,


• Dick Cheney is an android,


• Osama currently lives a life of luxury in the Vermeal Room of the White House,


• in Bigfoot, the Mothman, Roswell, psychic vampires.


If you found yourself nodding your head while reading this list, or have handful of items to add to it, you just might be a conspiracy theorist. And that’s cool. Some of the greatest minds of the 20th century worked just like yours. But if you’re interested in bringing about real social change, or making those bastards pay (whoever they may be), here are some things to consider before publishing the tour-de-force expose that’s currently working on your word processor.

A conspiracy theory is like a timid lover…

You wouldn’t just go up to that shy, doe-eyed, object of your affections and blurt “I love you,” right? Certainly not, because to do so would scare him/her off and ruin any chance at your being together. By that same token, you shouldn’t let a conspiracy theory loose on the world unless you think your case would hold up in a court of law. In fact, spitting conspiracy theories without sufficient proof to back up your findings actually hurts your cause. Most non-theorists will think you're crazy, which works against you. On top of that, if your theory is correct, you’re alerting the accused parties that you’re on to them before you really have the resources to stop any injustices. This gives the bastards the opportunity to quickly cover-up any available evidence.

A hypothetical situation



Step into my time machine and take a trip back in time to the California energy crisis. It’s the nineties, and you think that the rolling brownouts across the state may be the result of a greedy power company trying to drive up energy prices, affect state policy, or rally support for public funding to build a new nuclear plant. In this case, you’d have been right.

Today we have evidence that Enron may have been fucking with California. Some suspicious memos were leaked, some maniacal phone calls recorded, and suddenly the accusations didn't seem so wild anymore. For the purpose of this article, however, we're going to pretend that this evidence never surfaced, and that Enron is still bein' their scandelous selves over in Cali.

Do your research

If you suspected Enron of something fishy, and you wanted to stop them, the smart thing to do would’ve been to check into the numbers. Try hunting around for as much info as you can. Make some phone calls if need be, say you're an investor, or the press or something. In this case, the saying "knowledge is power" is true. Most businesses get away with being naughty merely because they're quiet about it. Collecting information might reveal a slip-up, and will help you out later on if you decide to pick a fight.

Hit 'em where it hurts, their wallets

Money makes the world go 'round, so once you've become an expert on your enemy, you should be thinking of ways you can stem the flow of dollars into their bank accounts.

Accusations don't harm anyone. But if you can push a policy that will cut into the profits of a business like Enron, they're bound to take notice. Try and make a coherent argument that people will be able to follow. If I can use the Enron example again, something like this might have been effective:

Brownouts have been sweeping over California because of wasteful American industries. Studies from 2000 show that Business X consumed the most energy of any business in the state of California. Therefore, citizens who want to see an end to the brownouts should boycott Business X in favor of environmentally conscious Alternative Y.

A few things about this argument:


• Don't make up this information, figure out who rightfully deserves public scrutiny and point a finger. Business X would ideally be some wasteful bastard of a business that you've already got some beef with, or better yet, a business closely aligned with Enron.


• Notice how the argument would give concerned Americans something to do in protest of the situation. Don't buy this, buy this. If you can keep it simple and coherent, people might actually act on your proposed policy.


• Notice the lack of paranoia and liberal bitching in the language. This isn't about bitching and moaning, it's about proposing a viable solution to any given problem.


• Make sure your proposal addresses the initial problem (the brownouts) so the people you're fighting know what you think they should stop doing if your tactic proves to be an effective one.
  
• Lastly, promote a friend. Alternative Y can be any business that you think has sound policies and is socially responsible. That way, even if your initial theory is wrong, and your proposed solution flawed, you're at the very least promoting a better world.


If your argument is sound, it may just catch like wildfire. And if enough people jump onto your bandwagon, whoever you're fighting might start to feel a finacial effect, and cut the funny stuff. Of course, if your fighting the psychic vampires, you might need a different tactic.



---


I'm no master strategist, but if you follow these instructions you'll at least be making some headway for change, as opposed to spouting looney conspiracy theories which enforce the existing power structures.

So, the three major steps for turning your conspiracy theory into something useful:


1. Keep your theories to yourself.


2. Get super duper informed.


3. Suggest a coherent policy that offers a viable alternative, promotes a socially responsible culture, and harms irresponsible "big businesses" financially.

Again, I'm no expert, but I am interested in creating solutions, and making MFA an informational resource for progressives. I open these ideas up to the general community. Anything anyone wishes to add, criticize or discuss in further detail, please comment below.

bummer...

Originally Published on www.musicforamerica.org

---

2007 wasn't the only milestone we hit on New Years Day. January 1st brought with it the 3,000th dead American soldier in the Iraq war.

In memorium, NYTimes.com just put up an interactive portrait of all 3,000 soldiers killed in action. Scan the faces and you'll find that the most common trait among'em all is their youth.

This isn't a coincidence. Of the 3,000 dead, more than half are 18-24 years old. Almost 90% are under 35.

Incidentally, the average age of the Senate is 64, with the youngest serving Senator checking in at the ripe age of 43.



I have the sneaking suspicion that the interests of our generation aren't quite being represented. Who's the stiff? You, me and all our friends.

Let's hear it for the pocket protector crowd.

Originally published on Music for America.

---

Today I'm gonna teach you why you should be grateful for having all these pent-up obsessive dorks blogging and commenting on political stuffs 24/7/365.

There is a practice called google bombing, and it's the reason why when you google the word failure, George W. Bush comes up as entry #1.

Basically, it works like this:


Whenever you get on the internet and do a google search for, say Kenny Loggins or whatever it is you spend your time searching for, google.com indexes every time the words Kenny Loggins link to a website. The website that has the most kenny logginses linking in to it wins and receives the number 1 slot on your google search results. The idea is that collectively, the majority of people will link to the most relevant Kenny Loggins sites out there.

OF course, once you understand how this works, you can start to manipulate the system. But you need a whole lotta help.

And that's where the dorks come in. They're smart, and organized. From MyDD:

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, the number one way that voters use the Internet for political action is to search for information on candidates.

I will compile a list of seventy articles... Every article will focus on a different Republican candidate, and will be written by as generally trusted a news source as possible. It will also present as unflattering a view on the Republican candidate as possible... I will produce an article... that embeds that negative article into a hyperlink that names the Republican candidate... [and] send a copy of that post out to as many bloggers as possible, who can also place the post on their blogs.

The result of this should be that the most damning, non-partisan article written on every key Republican candidate for house and Senate will appear both high on every Google search for that candidate, and automatically as an advertisement on every search for that candidate.

Sorry that this sounds so blantantly partisan, folks, but the truth is that all of these re-thugs gotta go.

This is just one way that the bloggers (collectively they call themselves the "Netroots") work together intelligently to make a difference. I will play this game. You should too. All hail the dorks.

bombs away.

---

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl


--AZ-01: Rick Renzi


--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth



--CA-04: John Doolittle


--CA-11: Richard Pombo


--CA-50: Brian Bilbray


--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave


--CO-05: Doug Lamborn


--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell



--CT-04: Christopher Shays


--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan


--FL-16: Joe Negron


--FL-22: Clay Shaw


--ID-01: Bill Sali


--IL-06: Peter Roskam



--IL-10: Mark Kirk


--IL-14: Dennis Hastert


--IN-02: Chris Chocola


--IN-08: John Hostettler


--IA-01: Mike Whalen


--KS-02: Jim Ryun



--KY-03: Anne Northup


--KY-04: Geoff Davis


--MD-Sen: Michael Steele


--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht


--MN-06: Michele Bachmann


--MO-Sen: Jim Talent



--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns


--NV-03: Jon Porter


--NH-02: Charlie Bass


--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson


--NM-01: Heather Wilson


--NY-03: Peter King



--NY-20: John Sweeney


--NY-26: Tom Reynolds


--NY-29: Randy Kuhl


--NC-08: Robin Hayes


--NC-11: Charles Taylor


--OH-01: Steve Chabot



--OH-02: Jean Schmidt


--OH-15: Deborah Pryce


--OH-18: Joy Padgett


--PA-04: Melissa Hart


--PA-07: Curt Weldon


--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick



--PA-10: Don Sherwood


--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee


--TN-Sen: Bob Corker


--VA-Sen: George Allen


--VA-10: Frank Wolf


--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick



--WA-08: Dave Reichert

Reason to Vote #1: The hot chick on the other side of your AIM conversation might be a Republican congressman.

Originally published on Music for America.



The Republican Party continued it’s trend of poor decisions come home to roost this weekend, this time in the form of FL Rep Mark Foley, who chose to step down after being caught having sexually suggestive conversations over AIM with a 16-year-old intern.

Some IM transcripts:

Maf54 (Foley): ok..i better go vote..did you know you would have this effect on me

Teen: lol I guessed

Teen: ya go vote…I don't want to keep you from doing our job

Maf54: can I have a good kiss goodnight

Teen: :-*

Teen: (kiss)

FYI - IM kisses goodnight between congressmen and interns is not customary. While this message seems kinda cute when taken out of context, the reality behind Foley’s predatory seduction of a kid less than half his age is certainly anything but. The scandal has caused intense scrutiny of House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert, who apparently knew about Foley’s disturbing habits as early as 2001, and in spite of this knowledge appointed Foley chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children (HCMEC). Yeah... that’s pretty bad.

Local Florida news affiliates followed Hastert’s lead when they came into possession of copies of the IMs but refused to run the story.

Hastert may be asked to step down. Foley already has. And though these two guys have basically taken themselves out of the equation for us, there’s hundreds more seats and governing losers that deserve the boot.

Because of this, I’d like to point out 4 things:

1. Registration deadlines in many states start as soon as Oct. 7th.
   
2. You can register with MFA by clicking right here.
   
3. You can send registration reminder texts to your friends by clicking here. I’d recommend doing that right now.
   
4. There’s a handful more ways you can get even more involved in the ’06 elections right here.
   

The unrelenting ticker of bad news, starting with Hurricane Katrina and continuing every day since, has shifted popular favor away from the Republicans. Change is in the air, and the narrative in the media is that young voters are going to be the difference makers.

Let's keep that trend going. Your participation in the system is meaningful. Please don’t ever forget that. And don’t forget to block this guy:

Maf54: do you really do it face down

Teen: ya

Maf54: kneeling

Teen: well i dont use my hand...i use the bed itself

Maf54: where do you unload it

Teen: towel

Maf54: really

Maf54: completely naked?

Teen: well ya

Maf54: very nice

Teen: lol

Maf54: cute butt bouncing in the air

FYI - Never mind congress... this one's not even customary in prison.

Sweatin to the Scandals

Originally Published on Music for America, 10/16/05.

Figuring out what's up with this intricate CIA leak scandal plotline is hard work. Burn some calories with Marv's politcal workout.

Warm-ups: Stretch to a short summary of events so far
5 min; 2 sets; reach for your pens and record the facts

We begin with retired Ambassador Joseph C. Wilson, who publishes a stinging NYTimes editorial criticizing the Bush Administration for entering Iraq under the false pretenses of weapons of mass destruction, specifically citing the administration's erroneous mention of Iraq's purchasing yellowcake uranium from Niger.

Eight days after the story is published, the ambassador's wife, CIA Operative Valerie Plame, is outed by reporter Robert Novak. The ambassador accuses the administration of purposefully leaking Plame's identity in an act of revenge. The outing leads to a federal investigation, which reveals that a number of reporters had obtained information concerning Plame from sources Karl Rove and Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff, Scooter Libby.

Judith Miller's Aerobic run-around
3 min; 5 sets; chase Judith Miller from the jailhouse to the courthouse

And so, with a case building against prominent White House officials, special investigator Patrick Fitzgerald starts handing out subpoenas to the involved reporters. NYtimes reporter Judith Miller opts for jail time rather than revealing her source to a federal court. Newspapers hail her as a champion of the free press, but it is revealed that her source, Scooter Libby, had given her permission to mention his name a short while after the subpoena, leading many to believe that Miller was hiding out in prison to buy some time and cover her ass.

Court Calisthenics with prosecuter Patrick Fitzgerald
10 min; 6 sets; get your blood flowing by terrorizing White House officials

As the storyline grows more and more complicated, special investigator Patrick Fitzgerald remains quietly prepared. Finally, Miller is released from prison after agreeing to testify in court. Although we don't yet know what goes on in that courtroom, some speculate that Fitzgerald uses a complicated line of questioning to trick Miller into perjuring herself by omitting certain facts from her initial account. Shortly after her first testimony, a phone call from Fitzgerald causes Miller to cough up some suspicious notes, and she is called back into court for further testimony.

One of the aforementioned notes is from Scooter Libby to Miller, and reads as follows:

You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover—Iraqi elections and suicide bombers, biological threats and the Iranian nuclear program. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to work—-and life. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

With admiration, Scooter Libby.

Parts of this message are so odd and out of place that some say the note is actually a code or hint to discreetly tell Miller how she should proceed in the hearings. Regardless, the note points towards a more intimate relationship between Miller and Libby than previously known. Other notes from Miller and Libby's conversations date back to before the Novak article and refer to Valerie "Flame" and Wilson's wife. Fitzgerald now has meaningful reason to bring conspiracy charges against Rove and Libby.

Annnd relax...

Are you sweating yet? Good. Now you know how the Bush Administration feels. And you won't feel guilty about getting plastered tonight out at the club. Who likes vodka?

National ID Cards: Make room in your Wallet

Originally Published on Music for America, 5/21/05.

A little more than two weeks ago, Congress passed the Real ID Act, which requires us all to have a standardized national ID by 2008.

Right now a bureaucratic empire is photocopying, filing and stamping the ID application forms, getting them ready for their fantastic journey through the US postal system. One tragic afternoon, you'll shuffle your crooked toes into your pink slippers, make your way down that cold granite staircase and open your rusted tin mailbox, and you'll see that envelope and realize what it is, and say, "Now wait just one darn minute..."

But by then it'll be too late.

Yes, Big Brother is coming for you. But don't freak out, hipsters. Here's the shakedown on the situation.

How we got here: The Piracy of Privacy

Your privacy was compromised months ago. Direct your attention, please, to the big-mouthed corporation to your right, Choicepoint. Yes, Choicepoint cares. In fact, they care about you so much that they collect all of your personal information, your consumer preferences, and any information they can get their hands on about your past product purchases, compile it all into one easy-to-read record, and sell it to businesses who are interested in marketing products towards you.

How do they keep track of all this information? you might be thinking.

First off, great question. Here's the answer: Keeping a database of records spanning hundreds-of-millions of American consumers is hard work, especially since there are a lot of people with the same names. A quick glance through the phone book reveals more than ten John Smiths and, surprisingly, no less than two Keith Richards. Because of this, they organize your information not by your name, but by your Social Security number.

How did they get their hands on your Social Security Number? Well, they either stole it or purchased it without your permission. The practice of selling your personal information without your consent is actually illegal under Principle 11 of the 1988 Privacy Act, but leeway was given to Choicepoint and other similar organizations, because they provided such a great darn service in the name of capitalism.

Surprised? Well here comes the kicker.

Sometime within the last one to two years, Choicepoint sold the personal information of over 145,000 people to an illegitimate business, resulting in at least 750 confirmed cases of identity theft, ranging from wrongful credit card charges to unauthorized changes of address. Gee, thanks Choicepoint!

When the story got out, Choicepoint screamed "data theft," but why steal the data when you can buy it at a discount price? Besides, Choicepoint's checkered past speaks for itself: in 2003, the company nearly sparked an international incident when they sold illegally obtained records of Latin Americans to the INS and other organizations.

Back to the ID Cards

Choicepoint is just one example of irresponsible business practices comprimising your personal privacy. There are many more documented cases of similar breeches from the past five years, most of equal or greater scale to that of the Choicepoint scandal.

Alright, lets do some math. We have the personal information of over one million Americans divided amongst a heaping spoonful of criminals and scam artists, leaving us with an unfathomably high likelyhood of identity theft in America right now. The government can no longer be sure that anyone is who they say they are. Of course, such a premise is not acceptable to the paranoid psychotics of the current Executive Branch.

This is why Congress tagged the National ID card to the recent Iraq spending supplimental. The GOP is hoping to get a handle on a situation which they helped create that is already beyond control.

Use your imagination the way the Department of Defense does. At this moment, an Al Qaeda splinter cell of operatives with access to the personal information of millions of loyal citizens could, plausably, assume the identity of an unsuspecting American and, by internet or telephone, negotiate almost every variety of challenges necessary to hide out in the cities or suburbs of this country and wait for "the signal."

This is what G-Dubbs and company are thinking, and this is why they won't give up on the National ID plan without a fight. But the slim prospect of Al Qaeda operatives training in our nation's playgrounds doesn't get me quite so worked up as the following reality:

Last week I was explaining the National ID bill to a friend of mine who is a resident alien. When I speculated on perhaps what the IDs would look like, comparing them to our current driver's licenses, he shook his head.

"That's not what they'll look like," he said. His gaze unfocused in apparent thought.

"This is what they're gonna look like, right here..."

He pulled from his wallet the new issue Permanent Resident Card. It was about the size and shape of a state license, but with one key difference. Across the front and back was one thick band of magnetic strip, large enough to contain within it every bit of information about his life. Previous arrests, aliases, affiliations, grade school permanent records, first kiss, favorite sexual position... everything and anything.

I did some research on the internet and discovered the card's manufacturer, LaserCard, and wouldn't you know it, my friend was right. Looking through the company's newsletters which were posted to the site, I found a template for the up-and-coming US ID cards. Take a look at your new National ID.



George Orwell, eat your heart out.

Summer Reading for Neo-Conservatives

Tired of listening to the same old Iraq bullshit? Yeah, I know how you feel. A car bombing here, a kidnapping there, blah, blah, blah- let up already, right?

Dead-damn-diddily wrong. Rather than tirade I will simply point a short, stubby finger at Bill Maher, because this blog is all his fault. I was watching his HBO show Real Time a short while ago with a few friends, and he had neo-conservative visionary Richard Perle on for an interview via satellite. Let me tell you, no amount of makeup could have made this mug beautiful once it was enlarged and projected onto the twelve-foot-wide digital screen Maher has in his studio.

This particular episode must have been filmed sometime shortly after the Iraqi general elections, because rather than challenging the man, Maher dropped his ideologies, dropped to his knees, and then pretty much asked Perle to drop his trousers.

“I’ll admit you guys may have been right in going forward with this Iraq invasion,” Maher said. I was shocked as I listened to Maher continue with his praise of the apparent progress in Iraq towards a free democracy.

Well I got news for you, Bill. There is a human cost to any war, and that is why, no matter what the outcome in Iraq, this aggression will not stand.

So, for those of you who feel like Maher, for those of you beginning to see light in Bush’s foreign policy, for those of you who have your fingers crossed, hoping to see democracy spread through the Middle-East like maple syrup over blueberry pancakes, I have assembled a list of some of the greatest pieces of anti-war literature ever written. Should you choose to read them, these books will help bring you back to earth and remember that the world is no chess game, and that pawns and queens alike can die painfully if you pump them full of shrapnel and mustard gas.

Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. This book takes place within the mind of an armless, legless vet who is confined to a hospital bed (heavy shit). Mind blowing ending.

Born On the Fourth of July by Ron Kovic. A true life memoir of a Vietnam vet's experience with the war. A damn good book, especially considering that Korvic isn't a trained writer.

All quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque. The story of an entrenched battalion of German teens fighting a war of attrition in WWI. Very well written.

Catch-22 by Joseph Keller. Set in the closing months of World War II in an American bomber squadron off Italy, this black comedy is the story of a bombardier named Yossarian, who is frantic and furious because thousands of people he hasn't even met keep trying to kill him. If you only read one of these books, make it this one.

There you have it kids. If you don't agree with Maher, and you're just tired of this war bullshit, these books will help you understand what our homies in the Middle East are going through. Don't forget where your morals at.

The Odd Couple II: Crafting a Loyal Republican

Continued from Part I.

Abel left. He dropped a money order for five hundred dollars on my desk, put his baggage in my spare room, and got on a plane to New York City to whip his Alma Mater’s crew team into shape for an upcoming competition.

The apartment was mine. All mine. Tiny towers of dirty plates migrated to obscure corners. Empty ice cream cartons started popping up like spring flowers. Reckless abandon. I took long baths and failed to properly dry myself afterwards. I secretly outlawed clothes and fixed the volume knob on my radio to eleven. The living room had been transformed into my own exclusive, never-ending rave. Were my landlord to enter the apartment, he would have mistaken me for a vagrant squatter raised by wolves. It was disgusting. Blissfully disgusting.

I stumbled over the book in the midst of dancing a slow funky chicken while blasting the Reverend Al Green. Immediately, I recognized Abel’s round young face centered on the cover from Polaroids he had shown me when he first moved in. My curiosity got the best of me and I began to read, unaware that I was flipping through the case study of his childhood, meticulously catalogued in Times New Roman font.

A bit of reading revealed that Abel’s childhood, his adolescent development, was the opus of a conservative New York psychologist. His life had been an experiment in crafting a loyal citizen with strong morals, and a healthy respect for money. Abel was literally the golden child of the GOP, a republican soldier forged from the riches of a free market economy.

I started to feel bad for him. He never had a chance. He emerged from the womb touting an American flag in one hand and a Nixon poster in the other. While brainwashing is indeed an effective tactic for passing down a political ethos from generation to generation, it is certainly unethical. As the progressive community grows older, these Junior Reagans are the folks who will try and stand in our way.

Abel is certainly a good guy. Reliable, charming and amiable. Unfortunately, he is Vader-esque in his political persuasion. Is it too late to convert him back from his conservative dark-side? I don’t know, but through all my attempts at revealing the virtues of progressive politics, he has been unresponsive.

I wet my parched lips with a cold one, sat back in my filthy liberal bat-cave, and pondered the ultimate question. How do you show a conservative the light?

The Odd Couple

He penetrated my defenses easily. There was an introduction, handshakes, smiling and laughing. There were beers. Coronas and limes, rings of condensation scattered about my apartment. Boisterous toasts, bottles clinking. Foam on the carpet.

Something incredible had happened. My roommate had been trying to finagle his way into the LA porn scene.

Meanwhile, an old college friend was just arriving at my apartment in Berkeley to retrieve his car, a Subaru which I had been taking care of while he was in Fort Lauderdale shooting a documentary. He pulled up with his filming associate in the passenger’s seat of a teal El Camino, and a crumpled mole-hill of Wall Street Journals in the back. I needed a roommate for two months. They needed a place to edit their footage. A perfect fit.

Only later did I discover that I had just let one of the GOP’s Frankenstein poster children into my home.

His name was Abel and he was the subject of my friend’s next documentary. He didn’t wear wing-tips, he wore sandals. His hair was longer than mine. There was no tiny metal American flag pinned to his shirt, no “Save Terry Schiavo” bumper sticker on his car. But despite appearances, this friend of a friend was as conservative as Strom Thurmond.

A conversation about Social Security awoke the sleeping Cheney in him.

“I think it’s ridiculous that the Republican Party expects Americans to invest their own retirement money. It’s unfair to thrust this type of responsibility on uneducated people.” I remarked off the cuff.

Abel voice transformed into a high shrill when he responded.

“You liberals have no faith in the common man!”

I was immediately taken aback. You liberals? My beer slipped from my hand and shattered against the false oak tiles. I excused myself to go get some paper towels, quietly retreated into the bathroom, and then locked the door. Panic sweat stung my eyes. Did I hear correctly? The kid was a Republican! And he’d be living with me for the next three months!

I grabbed a disposable razor that had been discarded in the bathroom trashcan and began to work the blade out of the casing. This situation could only end in violence, and I wanted to be prepared.
But the voice in my head stopped me. Murdering this bastard will get you nowhere, I told myself. Chill out. Chill out.

Tolerance is a virtue.

I put the blade down. The conservatives have already taken over anyways. I’m gonna have to learn how to talk to these guys.

Liberals have no faith in the common man.

What’s the correct response?

January 20th, 2005: Your definitive guide to Inauguration Day

This Thursday, January 20th marks the 55th presidential inauguration and the re-swearing of incumbent George Walker Bush to the office of the President of the United States of America. Snuck right up on you, eh? Stay calm, now; please, stop screaming. While time may be running out, you will still have the opportunity to strap on your square-dancing pants and prepare yourself for what could be the event gala of the waning half of January ’05.

Do you like parades? Fancy dinners? Tightly packed ballrooms clouded with the cigar smoke of the illustriously industriously wealthy? Are you only mildly annoyed by protestors? Then Inauguration ’05 is the place for you! I’ve written up a synopsis on the rich and sometimes scandalous history of American Inauguration to ease your salivating anticipation. Enjoy!

A Brief History of The Inauguration Ceremony

The first Inauguration Ceremony corresponded (rather appropriately) with the induction of our nation’s first President, George Washington, to office. Our nation’s capital yet to have been built, the ceremony took place in the Federal Hall building of Temptation Island, later renamed New York City. Due to a lack of previous presidents, Washington had little choice but to establish ceremonial procedure which would later evolve into lasting traditions. Washington himself ad-libbed the phrase, “dear lord, what have I gotten myself into now?�? to the end of his swearing in, and every president since has followed suit. He also delivered the first Inaugural Address.

Some of Washington’s precedents didn’t catch on quite so well. Like, for instance, the “Inaugural body shot," to be taken off an agreed upon section of the first lady just after swearing in, or the “Presidential Pig-Pile,�? discarded when the number of states, and therefore the number of senators, increased, and the pile itself grew so large that Herm Boswell (R-Tennessee) suffocated to death beneath the bushel of politicians in 1879.

Since Washington, the Inauguration Ceremony has aged and matured through the years like a fine pastry. Our present Inaugural “cake�? is made up of eight delicious “layers". (“events" for those of you who don’t get the pastry metaphor)

Morning Worship Ceremony

Former president Franklin Delano Roosevelt began the tradition of attending religious ceremonies the morning of Inauguration in 1933, after a power surge overloaded his favorite radio and he could no longer get broadcasts of the Yankees games on WNBC. Every successive president has since followed his example, with the exception of Former Pres. Richard M. Nixon, whose political career and reputation was consequently squashed. He spent his twilight years asking God for forgiveness, or, should forgiveness not be possible, the lead role in a Broadway musical.

Procession to Capital

From morning worship, the President-elect then proceeds to the steps of the White House to meet up with the incumbent for the procession to the capital. The President-elect and lame duck incumbent share a ride next to each other, a symbolic gesture that represents the passing of batons from one administration to the next, sometimes involving grabbing, kicking, and whining. This tradition began with Presidents Martin Van Buren and Andrew Jackson in 1837 when they rode together in horse-drawn carriage, and has more or less continued throughout the years. Warren G. Harding became the first President to ride to the capital in an automobile in 1921. Ronald Regan, the first to ride in the Oscar-Meyer Weiner Mobile in 1981.

Vice President’s Swearing-in Ceremony

No one really cares about the Vice President’s swearing-in ceremony. Dick Cheney is trying to draw a larger audience through liberal use of curse words and nipple tassels.

Presidential Swearing-in Ceremony

The moment you’ve been waiting for arrives. The President-elect, in front of the Senate, Congress, and the entire nation, gets to prove whether or not he can competently repeat words told to him by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Extra points get tossed his way if he can do so without cracking up or farting. If your President-elect says “I, state your name," rather than actually saying his name, you may be on your own for the next four years.

While the Presidential swearing-in traditionally takes place in front of the Capital Building, the untimely deaths and resignations of certain presidents haven’t always allowed for this luxury. Calvin Coolidge was sworn in by his father, a notary public, in rural Vermont after the death of President Harding. Lyndon Johnson was sworn in by Judge Sarah T. Hughes on Air Force One at Love Field in Dallas, Texas, after the assassination of President Kennedy. But the most famous (or perhaps infamous) swearing-in was that of Gerald Ford after the resignation of President Nixon, which took place on national television during the filming of skit comedy show Hee-Haw. Comedian George Burns performed the swearing-in while dressed as a farmer.

Inaugural Address

Once sworn in, the new President is expected to deliver his Inaugural Address before the nation. Some of the more striking presidential sound bites have been spoken during past addresses, including JFK’s “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country,�? FDR’s “We have nothing to fear but fear itself," and Bill Clinton’s spoken word rendition of “Crazy Train."

We can all learn the value of brevity from William Henry Harrison’s address in 1841. The longest Inaugural address to date, (8,445 words) Harrison delivered it during a bitterly cold and wet day and died one month later of pneumonia, becoming the first and only person to actually bore himself to death.

Inaugural Luncheon

The office of the presidency now affirmed, the Inaugural party enjoys a rich and hearty dinner. How many ways are there to cook a steak? -you might be wondering. The Bush answer: “I love to bring people into the oval office...and say, this is where I office."

Inaugural Parade

Here is where things get glitzy. We’re talking jets, fireworks, marching bands, ticker-tape, cockfighting tournaments, babies juggling babies, Jesus singing Bett Midler. If you love a parade, then try and imagine a Presidential Parade. Dwight Eisenhower had the biggest presidential parade in history, which actually featured a comet this size of Utah crashing into the Earth.

Inaugural Ball

Finally, after a busy January 20th, the elected administration gets to cut loose and P-A-R-T-Y! Those of you who have never seen a fat man wearing a pinwheel hat doing the twist should prepare yourselves, because there will be plenty.

Should you find yourself to be one of the selected few thousand invited to the President’s Inaugural Ball, I have one last thing to tell you: There will be pina coladas. A Bush family recipe from the days of yore, meant to be a fertility drink to encourage the survival of the family line. Stay away from them! That’s not coconut in there!

So now you know all there is to know about Inauguratin’. Excited? Hopefully, this January 20th will be a day you’ll never forget, like the day your grandma died, or that time you got your head shoved in the locker room toilet. Sweet, sweet memories.

Gerald Ford dies at the age of 83... er, 93.

Dana Carvey Calls it 10 years prior on SNL. Remember the man.

Speed dating...